Mass Effect
by Chronsse
Summary: A strange case starts spreading around the Nemesis and the Ark. How will both groups handle this strange side effect in their system? Silly story, not meant to be taken seriously. Done for fun.
1. Effectee: Starscream

When it happened, Starscream was the first it effected. It was during the worse, or best, possible moment. During a heated argument with Megatron. Neck-and-neck with the Overlord, the two were mere inches from slagging each other, somehow Starscream had managed up enough common sense to stay out of Megatron's reach this time, the Overlord appeared to be having a bit of trouble getting a hold on the dodgy little Seeker. And the Seeker was far too shift to try and shoot without damaging something, or _someone_ else.

Seems Megatron brought enough common sense not to fire blindly. Probably from the decreasing number of able Soldiers when he did so.

So it made heads tilt when suddenly, the Seeker stopped dodging - which he had been doing a fairly good job at - and allowed enough time for the gun-former to grab him by the shoulder vent. Starscream looked a bit put off for a moment, before rubbing his neck for some reason. He completely ignored the glaring optics of the silver mech holding him off the ground by a vent. The fact he wasn't already groveling after being caught was concerning enough. The fact he'd _let _himself be caught was...well...not unexpected entirely but...still.

That's when it happened. Everyone in the room stared at the Seeker when he made a strange, high pitched sound. Like a mix between a chirp and the sound of rubber against metal. A squeaking sound, his wings twitched in exact timing to the sound, a mask of confusion his faceplate. Silence reined for a mere moment before the sound erupted again. Again, wings flicking upwards with the sound, and the confusion grew.

On the bright side - for the Seeker - Megatron had paused to stare confusedly at the Seeker, who kept making those small, squeaking chirping sounds, that for some reason sounded a _lot _like the sound a Sparkling would make. Which only made him more confused, as the Seeker continued to do it. Once, twice, three timed and he was utterly lost in a sea of confusion. He cold understand the Seeker _accidentally _making that sound when afraid, or startled, but when he seemed completely unaffected by anything? And over and over again? The slag?

Another sound, and Megatron shook his head, snapping out of his haze to glare at the Seeker.

"Starscream." The Seeker looked at him with a firmly closed mouth, and wide optics, filled with confusion. Or shock. Possibly both. The silver mech faltered a bit, but quickly shook the effect off. "Stop making that sound." He narrowed his optics at the Seeker dangling from his hand by a vent. "_Now_." Starscream, on his part, looked terrified. He stiffened slightly, halting all function in certain tubes inside of his body. Vital tubes.

Megatron looked at him curiously, before dropping the Seeker on his aft and turning to walk out the room. He heard the whirring of overworking, stalled systems when the Seeker stopped..."holding his breath", and shook his head slightly as the throne room door slid aside. He got one foot out the door before...

_Hiccup_

With a twitch, he practically skipped a step to get out faster, and started to stomp down the hallways. Slagging Jet. Why are models _made _for War able to look, and sound, so slagging _adorable_. The Warlord swore the next mech to cross his path making such a sound, would _not _be as lucky as his wretched SIC.

Starscream slowly got up, still confused, everyone staring at him. He paused for a moment, the sound didn't come. With a smile he opened his mouth to speak.

_Hiccup_

"Slaggit!"

With a growl the Seeker marched out the room, heading towards the med-bay. A few giggling mechs fallowing after out of curiosity to this new development.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: <strong>...I don't know. I wrote this last night when I was fatigue high. It's silly. Has other chapters to it too. A few more Decepticons, and even Autobots may be effected~ ;D Let's see what happens~

**Disclaimer: **Transformers does not belong to me, nor do any of it's Characters.


	2. Effectee: Soundwave

Megatron watched Starscream, a mix of curiosity and amusement evident on his features. The Seeker had went to Hook, asking - demanding really - Hook to fix whatever was causing the little glitch that kept making him...'Hiccup', Hook had called it. Apparently it had something to do with the fact Starscream had, at some point, swallowed _seawater_. Which, considering their current residency, was not surprising. Hook had described it, though to be honest he hadn't been paying much attention. Apparently the 'salty substance' in seawater was irritating the Seeker's systems, mainly his fuel intakes and airways. It resulted in him taking in air strangely, or an irritable vibration whenever he tried to talk. As a result, the piping would...close...or something. Rubbing together. Resulting in the squeaking, and the click was cause by his voice box suddenly loosing it's...elbow room. Something like that.

Either way, Hook couldn't fix it. Or wouldn't. Or didn't want to bother finding out _how_. He assured the seething Seeker it would go away on it's own, in due time. Possibly after his next recharge cycle, when self-repair could work on it, and clean out his systems. Until then, he was stuck with the irritating glitch, everyone was snickering at him, making jokes, or giving him odd looks. Skywarp found it adorable. Thundercracker was one of the few who tried to hide their amusement, though he would break into a _huge _grin every time Starscream cursed allowed out of irritation. Especially since Skywarp, whenever around, got the urge to _jump _their Commander every time he made the sound. Probably Seeker instinct, he did sound - oddly enough - like a sparkling when he made the sound.

Skywarp was having the best day of his life, Starscream the worst, everyone else was just glad it wasn't _them_.

The Seeker now sat at a control panel, not far from Megatron's place in the center of the room, sitting on his throne as always. The Seeker continuously grumbled, wings rigid and vibrating with irritation. Every time he 'hiccuped' they would flick, he would shift, cuss out the control panel, then get back to work. He ignore everything and everyone else. Soundwave stood at Megatron's side, as usual, for once with nothing to do. It had originally been his job to repair the control panel Starscream was not working on, but - no doubt desperate for a distraction - Starscream had practically stolen the job from him.

The moment he noticed it needed repairs, he jumped before Soundwave, and called it; "I'll fix it!" Had been his words, before he jumped at the console, and got to work.

Normally Soundwave couldn't have cared less...but he had _nothing else _to _do_. He had taken up staring at the Seeker - the only other occupant other than Megatron and himself - from his position to Megatron's left. Megatron tilted his head ever-so-slightly to the right as Starscream kicked his chair away, crawling under the console. He dropped down on his stomach, careful of his cockpit, and propped himself up on his elbows. He reached for stray cords, and started hooking and re-hooking them up, repairing some broken ones. Until the console kicked off, and came back to like with a whirr.

Giving a triumphant 'Ha!', the tri-colored flier sat up and went to lean out from under the console. About the moment he lifted his head high enough so it was a mere _inch_ away from the bottom of the desk, his wings flicked, and he hiccuped. The jumping motion it caused made him sit straight up, and the resounding _clang _made Megatron wince, hissing out an 'Yeouch' as he leaned slightly opposite of the position he had normally been in, leaning with his elbows on his knees towards the Seeker.

Starscream grumbled, leaning out from under the console with his hands holding the spot on his helm he had banged, rubbing at it. He grabbed his chair, slid it back as he climbed out from under the console, and sat back down, getting back to the keys and working again. Still rubbing absent minded at the small, but noticeable dent in his helm.

Soundwave had to wonder how hard it was for Starscream to ignore them, they sat _right there_ and he had just embarrassed himself in-front of both. Without so much as a word about it. Oh well, he shrugged it off. Megaton snickered a bit, though his face still had a bit of a wince in the expression.

He turned from the Seeker to Soundwave. "So..." He started, distractedly. "Anything to report?" Wow. Bored much? He looked and sounded it, nothing surprising considering things have been pretty quiet lately. Mostly because most of the troops were still recovering from their last attempt at an Energon raid, having met Omega Supreme. And mostly because Megatron was just...lazy recently. Probably a result of his own recovering.

Soundwave tilted his head, trying to recall anything worth reporting...nope. Nothing.

"Negati-" Megatron flinched away, and Soundwave made a coughing noise and his voice suddenly cut, a sharp rattling sound, as if someone had shoved _gravel _into a _wood-chipper_ taking it's place. Starscream tilted back in his chair, staring at them in a mix of shock and confusion. Soundwave rubbed his throat, clearing his throat. He attempted again. "Nega - _hic_ - tave."

Everyone froze, Megatron stared at Soundwave in disbelief, Starscream just stared. After a moment, Soundwave made that irritatingly familiar sound, and Starscream busted into laughter. _Hiccup_. Soundwave shook his head, and Megatron looked lost. _Hiccup-Hiccup. _Starscream cursed as he hiccuped in unison with Soundwave. Megatron screwed his face up in confused, irritation, disbelieving denial. He threw his arms out, towards Soundwave, sputtering; "H-how are-how can-Y-You don't even have a **mouth**!" He shook his hands at the startled visor-ed mech, sputtering again. He suddenly turned, throwing his arm to point at the giggling Seeker.

"You!" Starscream jumped, and hiccuped, tumbling backwards out of his chair. "This is _your _fault!" The Warlord stood, shaking his finger at his SIC, who scrambled to his pedes. He pressed his hands to his cockpit, looking offended. "_My fault_? How is this - _hic -_ **my **fault? I didn't shove seawater down his fuel-lines! There is no possible -_ hic _- way you can _pin this on __**me**_!" _Hiccup _"There is no possible way for him to _swallow _without a mouth either! But he somehow _did_! And it's somehow _your fault_!" _Hiccup_ "I didn't do anything!" _Hiccup_ "Prove you didn't!" _Hiccup_ "Prove - _hic _- I _did_!"

Soundwave watched, tilting his head back and forth, back and forth, to each mech as they spoke. Argued, really. And Soundwave found it was harder than ever to take Starscream seriously when he would speak, hiccup, then finish speaking. He started to find it oddly adorable, but quickly shoved that thought process into the trash heap at the back of his mind.

The two argued, and a few moments later the door opened, revealing Hook and Scavenger, the two ceased their arguing to glare at the two Constructicons, who froze, staring at the two higher ranking officers for a moment. _Hiccup-Hiccup_ Heads turned to face Soundwave, as he made another wretched sound, right after Starscream. Scavenger looked horrified suddenly, he raised a shaky finger and pointing towards Soundwave, tapping Hook on the shoulder with his other hand. The older mechanic/medic looked confused, as he tilted his head and muttered;

"_That _should not be _possible_."

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><p><strong>Authors Notes: <strong>Bet'cha didn't think I would ever update it, huh! Nah, I haven't forgotten about this story, or any of my other ones. This one here is just for fun, mostly. So it took me a while to decide _who _I wanted the next _'effect-ee' _to be. I'm open for suggestions, if anyone has any ideas! Want a certain 'Bot or 'Con to be effected by this? Feel free to review or message me about it! I'll find a way to work them in!

Reviews and Comments are loved! 3

**Disclaimer: **Transformers does not belong to me, nor do any of its Characters.


	3. Effectee: Red Alert :Part One

Red Alert let out long, exhale of air, as he leaned back in his chair. Optics focused, drearily, on the numerous monitors before him. Flickering the sky blue orbs slightly, he inclined his helm to the right, focusing as best his current state of fatigue would allow on the red blur to his side. Inferno – aka; the red blur – glanced over to the rather tired-looking Lamborghini, and opened his mouth to voice his concerned to the smaller mech; he found his voice beaten.

"I'm bored."

Inferno paused, mouth agape. After a moment, his jaw shut with an audible snap, and he tilted his head ever slightly to the left, right optic ridge rising slightly. "Uhm...wha? Yer bored?" Red Alert gave him a mildly irritated look, and nodded his head in a jerking motion. Inferno frowned, he could relate to the feeling. The Decepticons have been rather quiet as of late, but still...Red Alert rarely ever voiced his boredom, even when it was noticeably obvious just how _bored _he was.

"Do yah want tah...tahke a bre-" Red Alert waved his hand at the Firetruck, cutting him off before he could even begin. "Nope. I'm bored, but not willing to leave my post. Most certainly not." He let out a mock-sigh, and leaned back against his chair, propping his feet against the monitor keys. Looking at him now, Inferno notice a slight resemblance between the Security Director and the Ark's beloved red twin prankster, Sideswipe.

When those sky blue optics glanced back at him, the image swiped itself clean out of his processor. "What?" Inferno shrugged, and turned to look back to the screens. A moment of silence passed, before; "I'm starting to wish something would happen. Anything." Inferno grumbled mildly, optics narrowing slightly in irritation at the monitor, currently displaying an image of Cliffjumper arguing with Ironhide about...something. Probably something trivial and unimportant, a distraction for the two to pass time on. "You're not the only one-" Red jerked, and coughed lightly. Inferno quickly whipped around, face twisted in concern as he made to rush to his friends aid.

Red cleared his throat, shaking his hand. "M'fine. Just...got somethin' makin' my throat...itch." He made a gagging sound, and rubbed at his throat. With a frown, Inferno stared at the smaller bot for a minute, before glancing back to the screen. Another moment of silence passed, and everything seemed fine. Inferno watched with boredom as Ironhide and Cliffjumper argued, it eventually seemed to wear down, the two turned and stomped off.

_Hh-click_

Inferno stiffened slightly, optics widened oh-so slightly. That sound...that adorably soft, chirp-like sound...it had come from behind. From Red Alert's direction. But surely Red hadn't been the source. Right? Inferno listened for a few minutes, when it did not come again, he shrugged it off as something unimportant and glanced at a screen as Mirage walked past it. Turning invisible halfway through the feed. Red Alert growled; "Slag, Mirage! I've told him a thousand times _not _to go invisible in the base." Normally Red would let it slip, or comm the mech to lecture him. Inferno was somewhat shocked to see him standing up, and turning to march towards the door.

"Red?" _Slam _"...Ah'll jus'...take over fer both us then..."

The Lamborghini stomped down the hall, optics narrowed. He really didn't know _why _he was going to personally hunt down the spy and scold him, perhaps lack of anything better to do. Perhaps he had finally got fed up with his orders being ignored, especially sense Mirage just happened to be in front of a camera during _every "invisible_ episode" in the Ark. Walking right past the camera, activating his heat radar as the camera motioned to keep fallow and keep him on screen.

It didn't take him long to spot the mass of heat shifting from one leg to the other down the hall, arms folded, back against the wall. Red Alert didn't say a word, as he reached out the grabbed the unsuspecting blue and white mech by a seam in his helm. "What the-?" The noble flailed a bit, confused, and focused on the Lamborghini dragging him down the hall. "Red? How did you-" "Heat sensors."

Mirage made a sound of understanding, then a sound of distress when Red Alert jerked him along, releasing his helm to snag him by the arm. "Where-" "I'm taking you to _Prowl._" Mirage gaped, and struggled a bit. "What? Why?" Red Alert seemed to have an iron grip, fingers not budging a mete as Mirage tried to pry them off. "I've told you plenty of times, Mirage; 'Do not go invisible in the Ark'. You realize how many safety risks you offer when you do so? Well, I'm tired of being ignored. And of letting bots walk all over me."

Mirage muttered something, as he began to struggle again.

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><p><strong>Authors Notes:: <strong>Sorry updates have been taking me so long! I'm trying out "OpenOffice" and it took me a while to get used to it, and I kept getting side-tracked. And I'm easily distracted. Like...Fireflight easily distracted- OOH! SHINY!

Seriously though, once I get caught up on my other stories, updates will probably become more...scheduled.

**Disclaimer: **Transformers does not belong to me, nor do any of it's Characters.


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